The Fullmetal Thief
by ForevermoreNevermore
Summary: The Elric brothers always knew the legend of the Philosopher's Stone went past the boundaries of Central, they just didn't know how far until Mustang asks Ed to keep an eye on a possible threat in town.
1. Meetings

_Yayz! It's a crossover I thought-up that actually works! I could cry little tears of happiness!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. I do not own King of Bandits: Jing._

"So Jing… what's next on the agenda?" the albatross asked his stealing companion. The King of Bandits smiled and straightened the magazine page as it flapped in the wind.

"I heard of this when we were passing through that little desert town. I checked in on it and this is what I found," he explained as the bird put his beak close to the page.

"Not bad. But what town are you talking about?"

"You know… the one with that girl named Rose?" Jing said, slightly elbowing the bird. The albatross looked at the sunset, his eyes hearts.

"Oh, that was one hot little bauble," he sighed. Jing let out a laugh.

"Bauble? That's not what you were calling her! C'mon Kir, just admit it!" And so, the bandit and talking bird continued to bicker as they walked through the desert towards a town called Central. The magazine page fluttered where it was left and finally tore out of the magazine. It floated away like a listless ghost.

"That dang Mustang!" the small blonde groaned as he slammed down his juice, making the orange liquid splash up and land with little plops. The suit of armor sitting across from him hurriedly picked up a napkin and wiped up the little orange plops.

"Come on Ed, it can't be that bad," the little boy's voice reverberated out of the suit of armor.

"Oh yeah?" the blonde scoffed, banging his head on the table.

Flashback

"Hey, FullMetal, I've got an assignment for you," the colonel had mumbled from behind his stack of old and unsigned papers. Ed had gave a lazy salute and sat on the desk.

"What do you want this time?" Ed yawned. Mustang put down the papers and shook a little black bang out of his eye.

"There's supposedly a man coming to town and it's got the higher-ups in a fuss," he groaned, twirling his finger in the air for emphasis. "He's the 'Bandit King' and there's a rumor that he's gonna steal something… special. Either way, they think that catching him would 'boost the morale of the town' so, yeah… I'm giving it to you to take care of. Now, shoo little alchemist and wrangle up this thief," and on that note… Mustang swiveled around and looked out the window, waving his hand towards the door.

End Flashback

"Oooooooooooh," the armor said. Ed glared at the salt and pepper shakers.

"Yeah, so now I'm stuck trying to get this dang fake Bandit King off the street like some kind of pancake! Why me Al, why me?" Ed whined. Al shrugged his metal shoulders.

"I don't know. Maybe it's because you decided to become a dog of the military. Oh, maybe it's because you're so good at beating up helpless bandits," Al said sarcastically.

"Are you ever going to get over her, Alphonse? She was bad news!" Ed groaned.

"No she wasn't!" Al said. Ed groaned and sat up straight in his chair.

"I don't have time to argue with you right now! Honestly, though, I'd rather argue than look for this two-bit Bandit King!"

"Hey! Watch who you're calling two-bit, you half-pint!" came a voice from across the café. Ed jumped up and ran over to the table.

"Who are you calling a half-pint who could fit in a coffee cup? Let me hear you say that to my face, you duck!" Ed screeched. The boy looked up from the tea he was drinking out of and gave the alchemist a blank stare.

"I didn't say a word. And I'd watch who you call a duck, he's pretty sensitive," he said, pointing to the bird sitting on his shoulder like a parrot on a pirate. The bird jumped up and hovered in his face.

"Watch who you're calling a duck! I'm a fair-feathered albatross for your information! Are you blind as well as short?" the bird squawked. Al came up behind Ed and grabbed his arms just before the short alchemist lunged at the bird.

"Watch it bird, or I'll cook you with a side of pineapples and bacon!" Ed shrieked. The boy jumped up and grabbed the albatross by the tail-feathers.

"Would you two shut up! You," the stranger said, looking at the blonde alchemist. "Get a psychiatrist to help you with your size issue and Kir," he said, looking at the bird in his hands. "Shut up before I tie you up and sell you on the black market for peanuts."

"Aww Jing, you know you couldn't do anything without me," the albatross gushed. The boy made a point of freeing his right hand and holding it up. The bird froze.

"You wouldn't." Jing shrugged as if thinking about it.

"I don't know. That boy had a good idea when he said 'pineapples and bacon," he grinned and sat back down, freeing the bird to flutter around his head like a fly around honey.

"C'mon Jing, ol' buddy, ol' pal!" the bird continued to rant as the boy drank his tea as if nothing was wrong. Finally, Jing brought a hand up and grabbed the bird, making him land on the table.

"You'll have to excuse Kir. He's pretty attached to the legend of the Bandit King. In fact, we're pretty amazed that the legend got all the way out here," he said in-between drinks of tea.

"There's a legend?" Ed asked as Al let go of his older brother.

"Pull up a chair," Jing said, waving for a waitress. A very pretty one hurried over.

"What can I help you with?" she gushed like a fountain. Jing leaned in close to the waitress.

"I seem to be a little short on cash, but I'm oh so hungry. Do you think you could help a starving artist get a little cake?" Jing asked, leaning in close and kissing the girl on the cheek.

"Yes sir!" she sighed and practically floating off. The albatross chuckled.

"A starving artist are we now?"

"You're an artist?" Ed asked, sharing a look with Al from their spots at the table.

"You wouldn't understand my art, FullMetal," Jing laughed.


	2. Caught in the Act

_Sorry it took so long, ya'll, but here it is! For all of you who have waited for it, danke, and for all of you who've just started reading it, thank you too!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist. I do not own King of Bandits: Jing._

"How'd you know who I was?" Edward gasped, his golden eyes wide. Jing laughed and shared a look with his Albatross partner in crime.

"Your reputation proceeds your," Jing paused and cocked an eyebrow. "Height." He noticed as the suit of armor that was rumored to be his younger brother placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"Anyway, what's the legend?" Alphonse asked quietly. Jing was quiet as he leaned back in his chair, put his arms behind his head, and put his feet on the table.

"I'll tell you in return for information on what we're looking for," Jing bargained. He once again noticed as the brothers shared a look.

"Sure, that is if we can help," Alphonse answered for the two of them. Jing nodded, of course that was all he could ask from them.

"Fine. It's really not that long. It's rumored that there is a bandit that can steal almost anything," he began.

"Almost? It's _true_ that he could steal the stars out of the sky with his handsome partner at his side," Kir butted in. Jing cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Anyway… he's supposedly a real ladies man," Jing finished slyly. Kir glared up at him.

"If he's a ladies man, then his partner's a monkey!" he squawked. Jing pulled his feet off the table and landed laughing.

"Yeah, I forgot about that part!" he laughed. Al and Ed shared looks that clearly said to Jing that they didn't get the joke. Ed through in a couple of uncomfortable chuckles.

"What did you want information on?" Ed asked, butting his way into the laughter. Kir and Jing stopped.

"Well, I don't know if you've ever heard of it. It's supposedly a rare stone called the Philosopher's Stone," Jing said, taking a bite of the cake the waitress had just left. Ed and Al froze, and, Jing noticed, seemed to get a little mad.

"You want it?" Ed asked dangerously. Jing stopped eating and looked at the blonde alchemist in front of him.

"I'm not quite sure. We read about it in a magazine and were wondering if it was worth the hassle," he shrugged.

"Well, a deal's a deal. It's a rare stone. It can amplify anyone's alchemy to give them anything they want. Oh and there's a warning attached to this lesson. If you try to find it… that means you'll be at the sharp end of my sword," he said. Jing cocked an eyebrow at the dangerous blonde.

"Well, let me tell you something, little alchemist. There's a warning attached to the legend of the Bandit King," Kir began, suddenly grim, as Jing stood up. The albatross hopped on his partner's shoulder. "If you try to hunt him down, he will hunt you back," he cawed.

"Nice doing business with you!" Jing said on a happier note as he turned around and left the café, leaving the barely eaten cake to taunt the alchemist.

"Well, I don't do alchemy," Jing muttered. Kir gave a hearty cackle.

"So? I bet it could get a pretty penny on the black market!" he laughed. It was an evil laugh, and it was one that Jing soon joined in on.

"I don't know, Ed, there's something odd about him," Al said as he saw his brother wolf down the remaining cake. He finished and wiped the crumbs from his face.

"Oh, you mean beside the fact that he's got a talking albatross on his shoulder?" Ed said sarcastically as he watched the two walk away, laughing. The two brothers sweatdropped.

"Oh well, I guess if you had a dead albatross in there when I was put in here, we'd look an awful lot like them," Al said with barely concealed interest.

"What the heck do you mean? I'm way better looking than that kid!" Ed sniffed. Al couldn't hold in his mirth.

"Actually, if he put on a long, blonde wig and you put on stilts, you'd look like twins!" Al laughed. Ed glared at his younger brother.

"Yeah right!" Ed shouted. He stood and clapped his friends. He then looked in the mirror.

"Sweet mother of bulletproof automail! I do look like him!" Ed shouted as he looked in the glass next to him. He had transmuted himself a dark brown wig a pair of elevator shoes. Al nearly fell out of his chair as he gave a big, echoey laugh. Ed's face was all grim as he sat down and turned back to normal.

"Well, that solves that problem. Now we just need to find the Bandit King and catch him," Al giggled, slowly regaining his composure. Ed glared around the little café for a moment.

"Yeah… that's easier said then done. We don't even know what it looks like!" Ed said, shrugging. Their conversation was cut short by a girl's scream in the distance. The Elric brothers jumped off and ran out of the café, leaving a few coins on the table. They ran down the road and stopped when they saw a crowd.

"Move aside, State Alchemist coming though!" Ed shouted, pushing his way through the crowd. The moved aside and allowed the short alchemist and his brother through. They stopped when they reached the center and saw what the crowd was surrounding.

Jing was standing in the center of a semicircle of three men. Kir was floating above his head and glaring around at the crowd. Jing looked really cocky and hanging off of one of his fingers was a purse. The men glared at him.

"Give back my wife's purse!" The big ugly one in the middle shouted. Ed looked at Jing.

"You stole that purse?" he asked, shocked that the boy he was just talking to was a petty thief. Jing gave Ed a patronizing stare.

"Do you really think that man has a wife?" Jing asked. Ed thought about it for a moment and then looked at the man.

"I guess not. But maybe he just doesn't want people to know that he caries a purse," Ed shrugged. Jing rolled his eyes.

"If you had more patience than your height, you'd wait and see who it was," he said. Ed felt his temper rise.

"I've got patience!" Ed shouted. Jing shrugged and turned back to the men in front of him.

"Hey Jing, need any help?" Kir asked from his spot flying by his head. Jing shook his head.

"Naw, there's too many people here to do that. We don't want any civilians to get hurt," he said, glancing around the circle. The bird nodded in agreement and then flew over to the two brothers.

"Just watch and see, this is going to be good," he chuckled, landing on Ed's head. _Stupid bird, it's treating me like a perch!_ He thought as he glared at the bird and then back out to the about-to-be fight.

"Hey brother… shouldn't you stop it?" Al asked nervously. Kir answered for him.

"No way! If you stop it then everyone will think Jing did it! **Have patience!**" he crowed like an old lady.

"Fine!" Ed huffed and looked at Jing.

"Hey boy. Just hand it over and I won't break your back!" the ugly one growled. Jing let out a laugh.

"Hey, thanks for the offer… but I'll take my chances," he swung the purse in an arc. The men began to tighten their semicircle.

"I'm warning you!" the even uglier one on the left grunted. Jing shrugged and looked to his left. Just as the purse reached the top of the swing, he let it go. It flew over the crowd and into someone's hand. The crowd parted to reveal a little old lady with the purse in her hands and tears in her eyes.

"Trying to take a nice little old lady's purse? Now that's just terrible!" Jing chided. The men growled and pounced, but Jing was too quick for them.

It was all over in a matter of seconds. In fact… it was so fast that Ed didn't even see what happened. All he saw was the beginning and the end, which was Jing standing on the chests of the men that were on the left and right. In between the two of them was the ugly one. A sword was pushed against his throat.

"Wow…" Ed said. Then… he noticed that that wasn't a sword… but Jing's arm. _That looks like when I transmute my arm. Maybe this kid can use alchemy. But, I didn't see a transmutation circle, so maybe this kid and I have a lot more in common then I originally thought._ He contemplated as he stared at the scene in front of him.

A gasp passed through the audience as Jing stepped off of the two men and took his sword back (Ed realized it was merely a hidden blade that popped in and out of his sleeve).

"A mere petty thief doesn't deserve to die. Mind you, a petty thief is nothing to be proud of. If you're going to steal, why purses from little old ladies? That's just pathetic," Jing sighed, turning around. The three men stood and ran out of the circle, crying like little babies.

"Great job, Jing! I think it's funny, though, how you give a lecture on being a thief," Kir said as he flew back over to his partner. Jing scoffed.

"It's not that. I just think that if you're going to steal, at least let if be from someone who doesn't need it." Jing stopped abruptly as he saw the old lady in front of him.

"Young man, I would like to thank you," she creaked. Jing held up a hand.

"No thanks needed, but you're welcome all the same," he said. He turned to see Ed walk up beside him.

"Oh, but I insist. Here, take this," she crowed, holding forward a wad of bills she had retrieved from her purse. Jing noticed as Ed gaped at the sight of the thick wad. He reached forward a hand and closed her open palm back around the wad.

"I was just doing what anybody would have done, so you keep it," he said calmly, flashing her a charming smile. She smiled sweetly at him.

"Oh, you're such a charming young man. Handsome, too. Why, if I was fifty years younger…" she reminisced. Jing let out a chuckle.

"I would have been honored," Jing said with a slight bow. The lady gave him a curious look.

"Might I have your name?" she asked, looking like she was trying to remember something.

"Jing," he said. She squinted at her.

"My granddaughter knew a Jing," she mumbled. Jing cocked his head.

"What's your granddaughter's name," he asked, knowing very well that he probably wouldn't know who she was.

"Rose. She's a cop in Blue Hawaii," she answered. Jing felt his breath catch in his throat. He looked up at Kir, who looked down at him. "But you couldn't be him, he was a…" she trailed off as she looked at him. "You're too nice," she whispered.

"I think that old man over there is checking you out," Jing said, pointing to an old man by the store that was staring at her. Her eyes opened wide as she tottered off towards the man. Jing let out a sigh of relief.

"Smooth," Kir whispered. Jing shook his head ever so slightly.

"Well, aren't you the average Robin Hood," Ed grinned.

"Well, aren't you the average dog of the military," Jing shot back with a grin.

"My brother's anything but ordinary!" Al said proudly. Ed puffed his chest out like a conceited peacock. _I don't think he's conceited, though. There's something about him. It may just be me, but it seems like he's been though a lot in his life._

"Jing's anything but an ordinary Robin Hood!" Kir said from his perch A.K.A Jing's head.

"I'd stake my life on that," Ed said, looking Jing in the eyes.

"Right back at you," Jing mumbled under his breath. They stayed that way for a few seconds, before Ed got to thinking.

"How'd you know that purse was hers?" Ed asked, cocking his head sideways.

"I saw that man steal it," Jing answered without a second's hesitation. Kir let out a cackle.

"You mean he stole it in broad daylight and tried to deny it?" Ed asked incredulously. Jing began to laugh.

"No. He may have been a petty thief, but he was smarter than that. He did it in that alleyway," Jing stopped laughing and pointed to an alley outlet about halfway down the road. Ed looked at the overly dark alley and cocked an eyebrow.

"How could you tell what was going on in there?" he asked. Jing turned around and looked at the alley and just realized how dark it was.

"I heard it," Jing quickly lied. Ed seemed to swallow it, so he turned to Al.

"I better go. I'm looking for this so called legendary 'Bandit King'," Ed said, waving before following his tin can of a brother.

"Guess he'll be in for a surprise… won't he," Jing asked once he was sure the FullMetal Alchemist was out of earshot. Kir let out another cackle.

"What's that supposed to be? He won't even be able to hunt you down!" the albatross laughed. Jing threw in a grunt and turned around.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that," Jing muttered under his breath. He headed in the opposite direction of Ed… the opposite direction of the law. Two opposite look-alikes, heading to opposite sides of the law and bound to meet up somewhere in the middle.


	3. Old Ladies

_I'm sooooooooooooo sorry for taking so long. I've been uber busy, and this is probably really bad and not worth the wait, but voila!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or King of Bandits Jing._

"Brother… where are we going?" Al asked, trying to keep up with his brother. Ed didn't miss a step.

"I'm going to talk to that old lady who said she knew Jing," he answered distractedly.

"Why?"

"It seems like to much of a coincidence that she might know someone named Jing. I mean, it's not that common of a name. Also, she seemed to be second-guessing herself. I want to know what she knows about him," he answered back, shrugging.

"Why are you interested in him?" Al inquired, walking sideways so he could watch his brother.

"Well, Central will want to know anything they can about some new vigilante wandering the streets," he lied. Al glared playfully at his brother, who had closed his eyes thoughtfully.

"That's not why. You couldn't care less about Central and what they want," he said, leaving the ending open so Ed could finish it. Ed's eyes flashed open in a blur of gold as he glared ahead.

"If he's looking for the Philosopher's Stone… I want to know all I can about him," Ed growled, his voice hard and determined. Al nodded and left the matter drop. The two of them made a beeline over to the old lady.

"Um, excuse me, Mrs.," the old lady turned around, her face drowned in disappointment.

"I can't believe that young man lied to me, that man wasn't checking me out… or winking at me… he was having a seizure…" she cried, but she wasn't disappointed because the man almost died, no, it was because she had been rejected.

"Um… I'm sorry miss, but if you'd like, my young, available brother and I would like to buy you dinner…" Al slowly suggested. Ed gawked at his brother, and the lady did as well.

"Well, aren't you a bunch of sweethearts… I'd love that!"

And the next thing Ed knew, he was on a date with a 90-something year-old hussy.

"…and when I was 50, Herald started to…" Ed dismissed her and turned to Al.

"You HAD to ask her out… didn't you? You cat-loving… younger brother!" he hissed, unable to call his brother anything slightly offensive. Behind his metal, Al's soul grinned evilly.

"Well, you wanted information from a depressed old lady. I'm sure you'd rather get it from a hormonal old lady than a suicidal old lady? Think of it as getting information from Granny Pinako," Ed shuddered.

"I never wanted the image of a hormonal Granny Pinako…"

"Now, I know you handsome young boys didn't ask me out on a date. You wanted to know something, didn't you?" The two boys turned to the old lady and noticed a new, more educated glint in her eyes. Ed swallowed and exchanged glances with his brother, a look that clearly said 'yeah-but-you-weren't-supposed-to-know'.

"Y-yeah…" Al stuttered, his stutter showing that if he had cheeks, he would have been blushing.

"Well, then, cut to the chase! I may be old, but I'm not daft! I know what a young man wants!" she looked at Ed and Al, then quickly coughed out a small 'ahem'. "What he wants from an old women. You want to know about that young boy, don't you?"

Ed swallowed and picked at his napkin, "yeah. You were saying something about knowing him, and I was just wondering where exactly you knew him from?"

"_I_ didn't know him… personally, it was my granddaughter, Rose. She lives at Blue Hawaii, as a cop, with her father. Where is that food at?" the old woman turned around and snapped regally for a waiter.

"So she knew him?" Ed asked, growing impatient with the lady.

"One week, when her father went into a coma, a young boy showed up. He was young, handsome, and had one set of eyes on gold, and one on my granddaughter."

"One set of eyes?" Al piped in, speaking for both Ed and Al.

The lady laughed. "Oh yes, he had a pal. A bird as far as I can recall. Now, I never got the full details, Rose would never tell me. But, I do know that when there was a fight, and fighting be the only way out of it, the two would fuse into a most dreadful monster." She waved her fingers as though trying to scare kindergartners into making up their beds and saying their p's & q's.

Ed and Al exchanged looks and channeled the same thought. "How old is Rose?"

The lady laughed and winked at them, "Oh, she's a ripe 21." Ed sighed and leaned back in his chair. _21?! That's too young for delusions. _

"What was her father in a coma for?" Al asked. Their 'date' sighed.

"Greed." The two exchanged looks and suddenly the old woman became serious. "He may indeed be a thief, and probably a young one at that, but he knows better than most men my age how to stay away from temptation. While the cat may eat the canary, the albatross can stay away from the fish. Waiter! I want my tea!" Ed slammed his hand on the table, lifting it to reveal a wad of money underneath.

"Eat your heart out, and thank you. I would love to stay and accompany you, but we must be leaving." The lady sniffed and looked at the money.

"Just like you young men, you take what you want and leave. But at least you pay!" she laughed and looked at the brothers. "Thank you, it's hard to find polite men these days." Ed nodded his hand and left, Al following dutifully.

"Brother?" Al asked, slightly tapping his shoulder. Ed stopped to give Al a grin.

"An albatross and a fish, huh? I think she hit fairly close to home." Al looked at him, gasping.

"You don't think?"

"Oh, I do. I think it's time to play the cat to find out albatross."

* * *

_Sorry it was short, but i hope you like it! I'll try to update quicker than last time (which means... you might still have to wait awhile) Izza sowee!!! ToT_


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